Resilience – for the second wave
Webster’s definition – The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
Others define it as “adaptability in the face of adversity or stress”. The ability to “bounce back”.
Life throws us ‘curve balls’ all the time and most of use manage to cope pretty well. But today things are different. We all experienced an avalanche of ‘curve balls’ almost on a daily basis beginning back in March. Now, we are being hit by a bigger, even more massive ‘second wave’. More like a tsunami! Only now we (if you live in colder climates) are looking at not even being able to go outdoors for a walk.
Social distancing, quarantine at home, not leaving your home for days – or weeks – on end. These are all new experiences for every one of us, and they test our resilience – our ability to handle stress.
Stress lowers not only our resilience but also our immunity and ability to fight off disease. Reducing stress and building resilience actually helps us stay healthier!
So what can we do?
The interesting thing about resilience – bouncing back – is that it’s a learned skill. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned by anyone, and then put into use when needed.
Here are some ways to help yourself, your family, and friends cope with these trials, and regain some of your resilience to help make it through.
Connection –
It’s all about connection. Yes, we have to social distance, but that doesn’t mean we have to be alone. Relationships become even more important at times like this. Share through social media. Use Facetime to connect more personally. Have a family – or bowling league, or bridge club, or quilt guild group Zoom call – just to stay connected and see faces you haven’t seen in weeks or maybe months. Or actually use a phone – not to text – but to actually TALK to someone.
Value and Protect Your Health –
It’s hard to avoid the statistics in the news about the latest virus numbers, but it’s far healthier to focus on your OWN health. What are YOU doing to stay healthy?
Have you added some exercise to your daily routine? If you’re able, can you go for a walk? A run? A hike? Get out in nature? Work in your garden?
Are you getting enough good quality sleep? Are you eating a well-balanced diet?
Have you begun a mindfulness or meditation practice? Do you journal?
Gratitude –
Do you practice gratitude for the things you DO have? Like…extra time to exercise, spend quality time with your family, and connect with people you haven’t seen in a while. Back when COVID started, we could go outside and enjoy the spring weather (at least those of us in the Northern Hemisphere).
Here’s a suggestion. It’s our personal gratitude practice and something that Bonnie and I do every day. When we are settled in for the night, we each take a turn telling the other what we are ‘happy and grateful for’.
For example: “I’m so happy and grateful that we got out for a walk in the beautiful weather” or “I’m so happy and grateful that I accomplished 3 things on my To–Do list”. Maybe even something as simple as ‘I am so happy and grateful that you put the laundry in the dryer”.
What are YOU grateful for today?
Keeping positive thoughts –
While the old “Don’t Worry…Be Happy” approach never really worked for very long, we CAN limit the amount of (usually bad or upsetting) news we consume in a day.
We can distance ourselves from negative people in our lives and try to keep our focus on the good, positive things. We can’t change our circumstances, but we CAN change how we look at them and how we react to them.
Purpose –
Do you have personal or professional goals you can finally accomplish now that you’re at home – even if you’re working from home? A course you’ve been meaning to take? A book you want to read? Clean out the garage? Write that book you’ve always wanted to? Try a new recipe? Learn a new hobby by watching YouTube?
What about helping others? Are there friends or neighbors who might need some extra help? Can you offer to pick up food or a prescription for them?
Set ONE small goal each day that you want to accomplish and stick to it. ONE. By the end of the week you will have achieved something significant. Then you can say “I’m so happy and grateful that I accomplished X this week”.
Are we getting closer and kinder?
I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed that social distancing has actually brought us together in many ways. People are kinder when you see them.
For example, when I approach someone in the supermarket who is near the food bin I want. We make eye contact, smile. Maybe they say “Oh, let me get out of your way so you can get some eggs”. I’ll smile and say, “Thanks. No worries!”.
Kindness rules. It’s a social interaction with caring and consideration – at a safe distance – that we would probably never have had before…and really shouldn’t take for granted, even after we get past the worst of this pandemic.
Are women better than men at handling stress?
Here’s an interesting article about how studies of stress are almost always done with men, and how they might have provided misleading results.
Early studies (including on animals) showed that males responded to stress with aggression; females by sharing and nurturing.
Is that really true, and what is the neurobiology behind our responses? Can stress increase caring, cooperation and compassion?
Take a look… Click here…
Does it take a crisis like COVID-19 to make us more mindful of the capacity for resilience we probably already possess–even as we consciously use it to develop greater resilience?
Maybe.
But regardless of its source, the opportunity to appreciate, improve, enrich, and strengthen ourselves–and those around us–is significant, precious, and something to be recognized and consciously embraced.
In both the tough days–and the better ones we know will eventually follow.
Be safe, stay well…and remember to be grateful.